It isn't fair that I can be lying here thinking of you
and you can be lying there and thinking of somebody else

I need to destory
myself in
order to
stay alive

Come to bed and hold me.. please

Tonights is one of those nights.
You know what I'm talking about.
You close the door behind you and numbly lock it shut. You at your hands for long minuts before finally breaking. You gasp for breath, silently sobbing about everything that went wrong all at once.
Everything that is wrong with you and the world and everything that you just can't deal with.
Then you deal with it the only way you know how.
You take a deep, exhausted, shuddenring breaths as you quietly cry yourself to sleep.
The next morning you wake up huddled in a corner of your bed with a sore neck and a pounding headache.
So you get of bed just like any other morning.

Typing "i'm okay",
while crying

Society taught me that
no matter what size I am,
I will never be good enough
I'll always be too skinny, too fat, too short, too tall...
Too this, too that